What If
by sonofwolf
Summary: Donnie starts off his day with some questions, and might actually get to see the answer: what if he were never born? What if he died?
1. Chapter 1

The credits rolled on the old black and white film, and then the network cut to commercial. Donatello blinked at the sudden brightness of color after watching the graytones for hours. "Well…that was an interesting movie."

His only reply was a yawn. He looked to his left on the couch to find Michelangelo slumped in his seat, his head resting on his arm as he slouched over the couch arm. "Yeah, interestingly boring," he held up the remote control and changed channels.

It was Christmas time, which meant the networks were playing the traditional movies like very year; Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, Miracle on 34th Street, and today's delight, It's a Wonderful Life. Donnie looked about. Leonardo had not even opted to watch the movie, and Raphael had abandoned them partway through.

"I dunno, Mikey," Donnie stood and stretched from sitting down so long. "It raises a lot of questions. I mean, how do you think we'd fare if you'd never been born?"

"You guys would be bored," Mikey said simply. He grinned.

"True, but don't you think we could somehow adapt? I mean if you were never here, our sociological variables would certainly not be the same, and we'd most definitely be different than how we are…"

"Socio-what?"

Donnie sighed and sat back down. Mikey had landed on an infomercial about microwave egg cookers. "Well, what about if you died?"

Mikey looked up, his attention finally off the television. He thought, then laughed. "Okay, Donnie, no more serious movies for you. Mr. Morbid!" He made a cuckoo motion towards his head, circling his finger around his ear.

"I'm serious, Mikey. Have you never thought about it?"

His younger brother shrugged. "Not really."

"Why?"

"I've got better things to think about! Like, for one, how I'd really like some eggs right about now."

Donnie groaned.

"What? Don't tell me that you've ever really thought about it."

Donnie blinked. "Well, no…I haven't."

Mikey grinned and stood. "See, I knew you weren't morbid!" He leapt over the back of the couch and made for the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Donnie asked, not really caring. His thoughts were on Mikey's question, and the fact that he really had never thought about what would happen if he were never born…or if he died. i They wouldn't even have electricity, that's for sure... /i 

"Makin' omlettes! Want one?"

"No…" Donnie stood and looked around uneasily. Leonardo walked by upstairs, rubbing a towel from his head, fresh from a shower. Raphael was out of sight. Master Splinter sat at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper with warm tea in front of him. It was quiet in their home tonight.

He went down to the kitchen area and looked over at Master Splinter, then at Mikey as he tried to juggle a carton of eggs, a tub of butter, some cheese singles, English muffins, and salsa at once. A little worried noise made its way out of Donnie.

"Is something wrong, my son?"

Donnie looked at his father again. "I don't know."

Splinter's large, wise eyes looked up, meeting with Donnie's. The rat smiled a bit. Through the years, getting this one to open up was the hardest. With Leonardo, it was easy to understand how he felt and what he needed, because the eldest turtle had his ways of either just telling the truth, or letting the truth be known through his actions.

Michelangelo just plain told everyone what he wanted. And made sure he got it.

Raphael let others know through his reactions. Sometimes his outrages were merely cries for attention.

But Donatello?

All his life he seemed reluctant to speak his troubles. Splinter knew this was not because he was always content; it was because he did not want to burden anyone with what was troubling him. Most times when asking him what was wrong, the turtle either shrugged and gave a small smile before going back to whatever it was that he was doing – which he was often doing alone – or just said, "I don't know."

And then refused to talk about it or give any more inkling that there was ever an issue.

"My son, if you wish to speak in private," Splinter set down his newspaper. He raised a brow in question.

Donnie shrugged. "It's nothing, sensei…I'm…I'm just being silly." And there it was. The small assuring smile, sealing the matter away.

Splinter picked up the paper again and regarded his son once more. "Of course, Donatello. But if you feel you need to talk with me, I am right here."

Donnie argued with himself mentally. Was it really that important? This unease? This strange…impending sense of doom? He didn't think this actually upset him that much, but now that Master Splinter had taken attention to it, perhaps it was. He opened his mouth to speak…but the only sound that came was the sound of an egg splattering on the kitchen floor.

Splinter looked over at Mikey and groaned before turning back to his paper.

"Oops," Mikey set down his supplies and grinned sheepishly.

"Donatello, please make sure your brother does not burn down the lair," Splinter said.

"Hey, I'm the only one around here with any real culinary abilities," Mikey said, pointing a spatula at them. "And in all my years, I've yet to burn anything… i Donnie /i . Does burnt mac n' cheese ring a bell?"

Donnie sighed. He went to the kitchen, fished a rag out of the sink, and set to cleaning the egg mess. "At least I have enough grace to not waste food on the kitchen floor."

"Dude, thirty second rule."

"Mikey, you don't even want to i know /i what sort of things live on this floor," Donnie rinsed the egg mess into the sink as the sound of butter frying in the pan filled the lair.

"Yeah, yeah, hey Leo! Want an omelet?"

Leo's voice came muffled from his room. "What kind?"

"Uh…egg?"

Donnie rolled his eyes.

"Heh, uh, salsa, cheese, with some English muffins on top?"

It was silent for a second. "No thanks, Mikey."

Mikey turned to Splinter. "Sensei?" He was met with a simple wave of dismissal. "Awesome! More for me!"

A beeping broke the pace of the room. Donnie pulled his shell cell from his belt. "It must be Raph," he answered it. "Hello?"

Silence, and then the line went dead.

"Heh, wrong number?"

"Not quite," Donnie pressed a few buttons. "Huh…yeah, that was Raph, but why did he just call and hang up?" He looked at Mikey, then at Splinter.

"Because he didn't want to be heard," Leonardo said from above, near his room. They looked up as he leapt to the first level of the layer.

"Wait, don't say anything," Mikey said, shutting off the flame on the pan and setting it to a cold burner. He drew his face into a serious, Leo impersonation. "Raph's gotten himself into trouble again, I just know it!"

Leo raised a brow and turned to Donnie. "Can you track it?"

"Of course," Donnie smirked. "He's at a construction site not far from Casey's house."

"Fi…"

"Wait, wait!" Mikey went up to them. "I got it again! Figures! Those two are i always /i getting into trouble! And it's always up to us to save their shells!" He grinned.

"Stop being so annoying," Leo said.

"Wow, you almost sounded like Raph there! It's like we all switched bodies! Oooooh!"

Donnie flicked his younger brother near his ear, producing a yelp. "C'mon guys, let's go…well…what Mikey said."

"Be careful, my sons," Splinter said as they neared the stone elevator that led to the warehouse.

"We will," Leo said, opening the door.

"Yeah, we're not Raph!"

Flick. Yelp.

The door sealed shut.

…….

Raphael growled as he watched the scene unfold below him. He was standing on a roof adjacent to what looked like a kid's recreational center, with basketball courts on one side of the center and a swimming pool on the other. The main building was sequestered off, and the center had been closed for renovations. Scaffolding encased the old, worn down brick building, and the pool side of the building was hidden behind tarps due to the outer wall being demolished and the insides being gutted. A cherry picker sat nearby a pallet of scaffolding poles.

Near the cherry picker, waiting somewhat impatiently, was Dragon Face.

Raph knew that where there was one Purple Dragon, there were others waiting nearby, either waiting in case trouble happened as a deal was made, or in a get away car. This one wasn't the leader, but he was more high profile than the rest of the goons belonging to the gang.

Which meant something important was happening.

He frowned down at the dirty snow that had been left here and there to melt away. His breath clouded before him. He had not intended on spending all night waiting for his brothers on a rooftop, and the sweatsuit and scarf he wore provided nominal protection.

"About time," Raph hissed as the forms of his three brothers landed soundlessly behind him. They too were somewhat bundled up, with only their eyes peeking from behind their beanies and scarves. "Check it out; the retard scouts are out sellin' cookies."

"Or drugs," Donnie hissed.

"Or guns," Leo concluded.

They waited for it.

"I dunno guys," Mikey said finally. They looked at him, ready for whatever quip would spill out. "What? I was just gonna say, I got a bad feeling about this."

Donnie frowned. "I agree with Mikey."

"What? Are you scared?" Raph asked.

"No…"

"Then c'mon!"

"Wait," Leo hissed, stopping his brother as he leapt to the edge of the roof. "Let's think this out a bit. I want to see who he's meeting."

…..

Dragon Face frowned and lit a cigarette. If there was one thing he hated, it was being treated like dirt. He didn't like it from his ma, or his pa, or his sisters. Every where he went, someone had something to say.

And then one day, he thought he finally had the chance to come out on top and earn some respect. The Shredder had been defeated…or so they had thought. He went to take the leadership of the Purple Dragons…but had been beaten to a pulp by the enormous Hun. Now, if he wanted to ever be leader, he needed to pretend to like following Hun's orders.

Which also meant he was the one picked to stand there, waiting. In his jacket pocket was a baggie of white powder. Talcum powder mixed with chili pepper powder. Purple Dragons had stopped dealing and pick pocketing ages ago, moving onto bigger and better things, like weapons dealing.

But the enemies of the Purple Dragons didn't know that.

A figure approached the fence of the rec yard and climbed over it, then ran past the pool over to Dragon Face by the cherry picker. "Took you long enough," Dragon Face hissed.

"They made me wait until they were all here!"

"Where are they?"

"Nine o' clock, on the roof," the kid held out his hand with a wad full of money. "Hurry up, I don't wanna be here when they come!"

"Yeah, yeah," Dragon Face held out the baggy. "You got till the count of five to get outta here, kid, because if this don't go down right, you're endin' up in juvi. Go! Run!"

….

"Yep, they're dealing," Donnie said, lowering his night vision binoculars. "And to a kid, too."

"I thought the Purple Dragons didn't bother with this kind of stuff anymore," Leo said.

"I dunno, rulin' New York has always been their priority," Mikey said. He shivered from the cold. "I guess that means starting young with their royal subjects."

"Did ya hear what they said?" Raph asked.

"No."

"Raph and I will get Dragon Face," Leo said. "You two get the kid. Quickly!"

The others nodded, and then they leapt out into the shadows.

….

The kid ran past the pool, but stopped as a form dashed through the darkness between the high dive and the fence. "Uh…" He stepped back, then turned to run the other way, and ran right into something. He fell to the ground and looked up. "Oh my God!"

Mikey grabbed up the kid and set him on his feet, but held him firmly. "No, oh my i turtle! /i "

The kid slammed his foot into Mikey's shin, getting loose and ducking past him, heading back towards the cherry picker. He halted in his tracks as he saw two more large turtles closing in on Dragon Face.

"Don't run, kid," Donnie said. The kid turned around in horror. "Just hand over whatever it is you have."

"Dude, let's get him and go," Mikey hissed. He pointed as more gang members vaulted over the fence, running towards them and towards Dragon Face, who was busy trying to run away from Leo and Raph.

The kid threw the bag of powder at Donnie. It exploded in his eyes. "Oh great!" He backed up and tried to wave away the billow of whiteness around him. "It smells like baby diaper!"

"And Mexican food!"

"Gaaah! It burns!"

Leo frowned as Dragon Face swung at him with a bat. Raph was busy fending off the new arrivals, which were armed with guns. A few bullets flew by, but he heard groans and grunts as the gang members met the wrath of his brother.

He heard the engine of the cherry picker start up, and turned to see a gang member turning it towards Raph. The machine barreled down at the turtle, who leapt out of the way as it crashed into the scaffold.

The gang member gave a cry of fright as the scaffold teetered. A scaffold pipe caught on the tarp of the building as it began to sway. He turned the cherry picker around, then found himself face to face with red and green.

With one hit, he was unconscious.

"Heh heh," Raph leapt off the cherry picker to attend to another punk. "Sucker."

Mikey leapt as bullets came flying his way. "Whoa!" He ran over to Donnie, who crouched by the pool, feeling for the edge. "Donnie! What are you doing!"

"I gotta wash this stuff out of my eyes!"

"Well hurry up! Three big, bad, and uglies are comin' our way!"

The scaffold behind them groaned, slipping on the tarp. No one seemed to notice until it came crashing down, slamming into the cherry picker. The driver pitched forward, unconscious, his foot hitting the gas. It swiveled and slammed into the pallet of scaffold poles, dragging a bit of scaffold and tarp with it, lurching towards the pool.

Leo's fist slammed into Dragon Face's face, rendering him finally unconscious. He looked over to see the cherry picker, dragging tarp and scaffold and pushing the pallet, as it lurched towards his brothers. Mikey stood fending off three gun toting goons. His chucks soon knocked them soundly unconscious. Donnie…

Donnie knelt at the edge of the pool, rubbing his face with water.

"Donnie?" Leo ran towards them. "Mikey! Get Donnie!"

"Huh wha?" Mikey looked up, then over at Donnie. He leapt for his brother as the pallet of poles became untied and crashed down on them, sending them, the poles, and scaffold bits into the water.

"No!" Leo leapt onto the cherry picker and kicked the unconscious gang member out, halting it. It began to drag, however, with the pull of the scaffold and tarp in the water. With one slice of his katana the tarp, which was attached to the scaffold that was in the water, was free, but it began sliding into the water also. "Raph! Donnie and Mikey are down there!"

Raph was already on his way, socking the last two goons out of the way before diving into the pool.

…….

Below, Donnie could feel the weight of the pallet, scaffold, and poles on his legs and he lay flat on his shell at the bottom of the pool. The coldness of the water was biting; he could scarcely remove his mind from the needle like sensation prickling his skin. Mikey was also there, kicking away poles, but when he removed some, more came sliding down.

Donnie shook his head and pointed. They both looked to see the tarp coming down into the pool. Mikey looked at him with newfound fear and began tugging at the pallet, bubbles erupting from his mouth.

The last thing they needed was to wrestle that thing under the water.

……

Leo reached into the pool and grabbed up the tarp. It was already half sunk, and was heavy from the water on it, and was still caught in the scaffold. He tugged it back, pulling as hard as he could…

"C'mon…!"

It slowly began to budge, bringing up a bit of the scaffold….

……

Raph kicked aside the tarp, pushing it aside as much as he could. It began to lift, along with part of the scaffold. The water was dark, and he could barely see anything, but he could hear a struggle below. He swam towards it, moving between the poles of the scaffold.

There…the form of someone…

He reached out and grabbed his arm and began pulling up…

….

"Nooo!" Leo cried as the tarp began slipping. The scaffold groaned, and he could hear metal slamming into metal and concrete below. "Please, please don't do this!"

….

Suddenly Mikey jerked away. His younger brother's arms reached for him, but Donnie couldn't grab ahold. He reached, trying his best to remove the weight from his legs…the pallet moved a bit…

Donnie grabbed for Mikey's hands, then cried out as Mikey was pulled away.

The scaffold came crumbling down, blotting out all light with the tarp.


	2. Chapter 2

_ Author's notes:_

Burakku's Shadow: Peril ;P Wolf of Thunder, huh? I like that. :D

………

Donatello groaned and sat up. He sat on the cold concrete surface of the rec center, just on the edge of the pool. The night was growing lighter, and it was silent.

Before him stood the wreckage of the fight. The cherry picker stood dangerously close to the pool, swiveled so that its back tire was even a bit off the edge. The tarp that had been shielding the building from snow and rain lay submerged in the pool with a few pockets of air bringing it to the surface here and there. Scaffold pipes littered the ground everywhere.

He looked over the edge into the pool. In the small light of the coming dawn he could make out the cragged shapes of the part of the scaffold below, plus the pallet of pipes nearly covering the pool bottom. A few of them had rolled into the deep end and lay there silently.

"That was close," he muttered. The last thing he had remembered was Mikey being pulled to the surface, and he was desperately trying to pull his legs from under the pallet. He was running out of time, and his lungs had screamed for air. He must've blacked out before they had gotten him out of there.

A small sound came from his left; he turned to see Mikey standing there, looking down at the pool as well. Although Donnie could only see his eyes from under the scarf and beanie, his expression seemed somber.

"Hey!"

They both turned at the sound of the voice. Raphael stood beyond the chain link fence that enclosed the rec area. He leaned against it, his fingers hooked in the links. Mikey sighed and looked away.

"You can't hang out here," Raph said. "It's almost dawn. Let's get goin'. You're gonna catch a cold, or somethin'."

Mikey turned away from the pool and met eyes with Donnie as he stood. Mikey blinked. "Uh…"

"C'mon! Let's go!" Raph rattled the fence for emphasis. He turned from the fence and began running away.

Mikey gave a worried whine and leapt the fence, then took off after Raph. Donnie followed suit, keeping watch for straggling Purple Dragons as they dashed into an open manhole and into the sewers.

His brothers seemed a bit relaxed, despite the ordeal they had just been through. There was no taking of odd twists and turns to get to the lair as they usually did after things went wrong, just to shake or confuse anyone who might be following.

Raph led them inside. It was dark, with a few candles lit here and there. The televisions were on, showing the news, but were muted, casting striking flashes of light here and there from time to time.

Mikey sighed. "I'm just gonna…you know…sleep. It's been a long night."

Raph watched his brother climb the stairs to the second level, his shoulders slouched and his demeanor forlorn. "Poor kid." He looked about, his eyes passing over Donnie, and scratched his head. "It's like a tomb in here."

"Your brother must work out his own feelings," Splinter said, coming from the training area. "This has been a…tragic defeat."

"Tragic?" Donnie frowned. He looked about and suddenly realized…Leonardo was gone. "Wait…guys, where's Leo?"

Master Splinter sighed. "The loss of your brother has taken a toll on all of us."

Donnie blinked. "No…" Had Leo somehow gotten hurt? Maybe he had jumped in after them…

"Mikey told me he…saw somethin' that night. Like he was there. He insists he saw him after, well, you know…" Raph looked up at the second level. All the rooms were dark save for Mikey's, but their younger brother had the habit of leaving the light on in his room, even when he wasn't in there. "Do you think…?"

Donnie looked down at his hands. Leo was gone! How come he didn't know? How come…he didn't remember?

"I do not think so. It is not…healthy for one to speak such things as this," Splinter said, looking up at Mikey's room. "Lost memory, yes, sometimes those effected by tragedy push things out of their mind to cope, but to continually insist someone is alive when they are not…"

"Guys," Donnie breathed, his voice catching in his throat. "What happened to Leo? Why isn't he here?!"

"We keep goin' over this," Raph said, turning away from them. "I don't know how much longer I can keep repeatin' myself!"

"I don't care, Raph! Where is Leo?!"

"Perhaps it would be best…if we all went and visited him tonight," Splinter sat at the kitchen table and folded his hands in front of him. "It would be a…reminder…to see his grave once more."

Donnie had enough. Tears sprung to his eyes as the mentioning of a grave. _ Leo's dead! How could he die and I just…not remember? How could I even begin to will that out of my memory_

He turned from the others and ran upstairs, into Leo's room. No one stopped him, no one shouted for him.

The room was dark, but the same as Leo had left it. The bed was made neatly, as always. The book case full of books sat in the corner silently. Everything was untouched, but Leo was not there.

He backed out, suddenly aware that he was standing in the room of a dead person. "Mikey…" he went over to Mikey's room, but…Mikey wasn't in there. Klunk slept curled on his unmade bed. Mikey's street clothes were tossed here and there. The light he had seen before came from what he recognized as his own flashlight. "Mikey, where are you?"

A noise came from Donnie's room. Frowning, Donnie made his way over.

Inside, Mikey sat on his bed, staring down at his hands, his head drooped. He was crying. Teardrops dotted his thighs and hands, but he made no move to get rid of them. "Mikey, you gotta tell me what happened," Donnie said softly. "I know I should know but…I don't. What happened to Leo?"

Mikey shook his head. "I am so not going to do this, I am so not saying anything…"

Donnie sat down on his desk chair and frowned. "C'mon, Mikey, please?" He was met with another shake of the head. Sighing, he looked around, then frowned at the sight of his bo staff resting propped up in the corner. "What's that doing there?" He went over to grab it…and stepped back as his hand passed right through. "What the…?"

Mikey clasped his head in his hands, as if trying to block out some horrid noise. "Just stop!" he hissed. "I am not going crazy! It's not real, it's just a figment of my imagination!"

"Mikey…" Donnie's voice came out shakily. He stumbled back into the desk chair and sat in stupor. "Mikey…tell me what happened! What's going on?!" Mikey looked up with tear filled eyes, meeting Donnie's, which were drenched in fear. "Leo…didn't die that day…did he?"

Mikey shook his head, then turned away. "Dude, evil spirit or psycho brain thing, please stop! Raph already thinks I'm bonkers..."

Donnie turned and reached for something on the desk. His hand passed right through it. He frantically reached for something else with the same results. "No…" he turned to Mikey and reached for him…his hand passed right through.

"Stop!" Mikey shied away but refused to look at Donnie. He sobbed freely now. "What the heck did I do to deserve this? Why am I the one seeing the freaky stuff?"

Donnie sat back and looked at his hands. They balled into fists as he closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm…dead, aren't I?" He shook his head furiously. "No, that's not true! I refuse to believe it! It can't be true!"

"Yeah, I said the same thing," Mikey said, sucking in breath. He rubbed tears from his face. "But…you are. Or Donnie is. Or whatever…" he looked away. "I'm doing it, I'm actually talking to myself. Boy, am I cracked or what?"

"Mikey…you aren't crazy. I'm right here! I know you see me…and hear me…" he reached for Mikey again, but his little brother moved his hand away. "I don't…understand…"

"You're dead, bro!" Mikey frowned. "You…drowned!"

"I drowned?"

"I told Raph to let me go, I tried to get away, but…I couldn't reach you," Mikey looked at his hands. Tears came again but this time he tried to fight them. "You slipped…right through my fingers! Leo went in there, and then Raph went back down, and they got you out, but it was too late, you'd been under too long…

"I'm sorry Donnie! I'm sorry I couldn't get you out! I tried, I really did!"

Donnie could only watch pitifully as his younger brother broke into full blown sobs. "It's okay…" he heard himself whisper, but he knew it wasn't.

"I just wish you were here for reals, not…imaginary like how Raph said…"

"But I am here, I don't know why," Donnie looked at himself. "I don't _ feel _ dead…" He looked around as Mikey cried. "Why is the power out?"

"It's not," Mikey sniffled. "I mean it is, because Raph kinda…went ballistic and stabbed some stuff he shouldn't have…"

"The back up generators?"

"Well, we don't want to use them up or anything, so…"

Donnie sighed. "So Raph…is torn up too, huh?"

"No, well, yeah, but no," Mikey looked up. "I don't get it. For some reason, he's been really calm…I guess it's because Leo left."

"Leo…left?"

"Yeah, he kinda…disappeared after your, well…you know."

"Funeral?"

"Yeah."

"Why would he leave?" Donnie stood and looked out of Mikey's room into the darkened lair. "Did he go after the Purple Dragons?"

"No. He just…left. He didn't even tell anyone. Not even Master Splinter."

"April or Casey?"

"Nuh-uh," Mikey hesitated. "No offense, bro, but…this is really creeping me out."

"Huh?"

"You're…well…you're…"

"I get it, Mikey," Donnie sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I bet Raph was really happy when Leo just left."

"Yeah, that's when he snapped. But after, he was like, 'well, if Leo isn't here, I'm gonna be the big bro'," Mikey frowned. "But I think he's just freaking out as much as I am. Although…I think I'm the only one who can see you. _ If _ you aren't a post traumatic thingiemabobber."

"Schizophrenic tendencies related to or caused by a post traumatic stress disorder."

"Yeah, that! Although, if you were one of those thingies, I don't think I could remember what you just said."

"I'm not a disorder, Mikey. I'm really here. Like I said, I don't know why, and I don't know why no one else can see me." He looked away from the sad expression on his brother's face, unable to stomach it any longer. "I'm…sorry. I'm…so sorry. I can't…all this pain…"

Mikey looked up, but the shady visage of his brother, who had just been sitting at the chair before him, was gone. "Donnie?" He looked around, then looked down dejectedly.

He was alone.

…..

During the day, hardly anything moved in the lair. Master Splinter spent most of his time sitting alone, his face saddened and his ears drooped. Donnie could only imagine how he felt. One son dead, one run away.

He had found the circuitry that Raph had accidentally destroyed. It was just a burnt breaker, something rather simple, but even that he could not fix. He had stared at it for a while before accepting that he could no longer do anything for his family. No electricity, no alarm systems, no repairs.

Nothing.

When he sat next to Master Splinter, nothing happened. He never truly believed much into the mystical things Splinter tried to teach them, but if one person was supposed to be able to see him, Splinter was he.

Raph woke midday to seal himself in the training area. He did not come out until evening, and did so calmly, although covered in sweat and tired.

"You should not over exert yourself, my son," Splinter said as Raph went to get water from the kitchen.

"Someone's gotta," Raph frowned at the glass of water before drinking it. "Leo ain't here to be our fearless leader no more," he scowled at the empty glass, at his reflection. Someone stood past his shoulder in the reflection…he could make out the shape of their head…and shoulders…

He whirled around, but no one was there. Donnie sighed as Raph stared past him, looking for something but seeing nothing. Raph looked at the glass then set it aside. "I'm gonna find Dragon Face and stop them for good."

Splinter frowned. "Do not resort to vengeance! Revenge will not bring back either of your brothers!"

"Maybe not," Raph scowled, looking away at nothing in particular. "But it's about time these guys are put out of business. How many other people have they hurt?" He glared at Splinter. "How many other families have been broken up? Huh?"

Splinter said nothing.

"I'm not gonna let this happen to nobody else!"

"I do not want another tragedy to befall this family!" Splinter said firmly. "The last thing any of us can take…is…" he paused and sighed, looking away. "I do not think I can take it if another one of my sons suffers at the hands of street gangs."

Raph blinked, surprised, but the concern was short lived. "Yeah, well," he left it at that, however, and moved toward the stone elevator. "Get Mikey. I wanna get this over with." He disappeared into the elevator.

Master Splinter only sighed at the order coming from his son. He knew he should rebuke it, but at the moment, he just didn't have the heart to.

Donnie waited as Master Splinter retrieved Mikey from his room. The younger turtle seemed surprised to see Donnie standing there. "Uh…" Mikey started. "Hey, Master Splinter?"

"Yes?"

"Go on ahead…I'll catch up."

Splinter raised a brow, then looked where Mikey was looking. Nothing. He frowned, but went to the elevator, leaving Mikey alone.

"I thought you left, bro."

"I didn't. I was here all day."

"Why?"

"I don't know. This is…" he held up his fists, then let them fall to his sides. "Torture. I cant say anything to anyone. I can't do anything. I know how to fix the power, I just… _ can't_ "

Mikey looked over at the power box in the wall. "Well, maybe you could just tell me what to do."

Donnie thought, then nodded. He waited as Mikey went to the box and opened it. The lid was never truly shut, as Raph had punched a nice dent into it, along with a hole from his sai. Inside, there was a few disconnected wires, and the breakers that needed to be replaced. "I have extra ones on my desk. Just replace them, and put that wire to that one…no not that one, _ that _ one…yeah…" He waited as Mikey fixed the wires. "Okay, now, go get the breakers. It's in the red tool box."

"Right!" Mikey raced up the stairs, suddenly energetic. He returned with the whole tool box and opened it so Donnie could see. "What are they now?"

Donnie pointed. Mikey held up a breaker, then replaced the ones Donnie pointed to.

The lights in the layer flickered on.

"Awesome!" Mikey cheered and turned to give Donnie a high five, but stopped himself upon seeing Donnie's sad smile. "I'm…sorry, Donnie. I forgot."

"It's okay," he sighed. "We'd better get going."

"You're coming with?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't that a bit…"

"Morbid?" Donnie shrugged. "I'm a…ghost, Mikey. How much more morbid can things be?"

"Right," Mikey frowned. He turned to the elevator. "Are you gonna like, ride with us, or what?" He looked back at Donnie.

He wasn't there.

"Kay, you need to cut it out with that creepy disappearing stuff," he muttered. He went to the elevator cautiously, and when he was convinced that Donnie wasn't following him, he went up to the warehouse. Raph and Splinter stood waiting. "Sorry…"

"The back up generators shut up," Raph said. "Did something happen?"

"Yeah, I so totally got the power going!" Mikey grinned.

Raph looked at Splinter, who shrugged. "How'd you do that?"

"Donnie told me…" Mikey halted himself as disappointed looks washed over the other's faces. "What?"

"Look, Mikey," Raph went over to Mikey and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's nearly been a week, bro. Donnie is dead! He's…you gotta stop talking like he's right here!"

"Well, he isn't here right _ now _ …"

"So he just shows up when it's convenient?"

Mikey scowled and shoved Raphs hand off his shoulder. "Don't look at me like I'm crazy, Raph!"

"Well, you're sure actin' it, Mikey! We're…scared. It's like you refuse to accept this."

"And you accept it like it doesn't even matter! It's like you don't even care!"

Donnie shut his eyes from inside the Battle Shell. He couldn't see them, but he could hear them. He could feel the tense silence. _ Stop fighting over me…please… _

Raph stepped back from Mikey and glowered. "Yeah, Mikey, that's right," he turned his back on his little brother. "I don't care. In fact, I'm just drivin' you there to shut you up, 'cuz if you were annoying before this all happened, you're ten times worse now!"

"Raph…"

"Get inside, Casey and April are meetin' us there."

Mikey looked down as his brother and father entered the vehicle.

He reluctantly followed.


	3. Chapter 3

The cemetery was quiet and lit softly from lamp posts scattered along the trails that snaked between the graves. Mikey, Raph, and Master Splinter took their time trodding through the headstones. With each step, their hearts grew heavier, until at last Mikey hung back.

The others walked a few more paces and looked back. "Mikey…" Raph began.

"I don't want to go," Mikey said, his eyes begging. "I don't want to see it again."

"You gotta, Mikey," Raph went over to him and went to grab his arm. Mikey moved it out of the way. Raph frowned. "C'mon, Mikey, everyone's waiting for us!"

"Michelangelo!" Splinter hissed. "None of us i want /i to be here, but we do so out of respect for your brother."

Mikey blinked, then looked at Donnie.

"Just go, Mikey," Donnie said softly.

"And don't pull any of that 'I see dead people' stuff, neither," Raph grabbed Mikey's arm and practically forced him to walk ahead of him. "Get going!"

Mikey reluctantly obeyed. They made their way over a small knoll. Donnie could see April, Casey, and Angel standing a few feet away, waiting. "Angel!" Mikey went over to them and was enveloped in hugs. "I thought…you weren't gonna come!"

"I thought you were lying," Angel said. She looked away from Mikey to the ground. "But you weren't."

Hugs were exchanged between the mutants and the humans, and then they parted to look to the humble headstone they converged at. Donnie walked around them and looked down at it. It was simple enough, just a flat marker with his name and dates.

Donatello Hamato.

He stared at the dates and instantly calculated the time he spent alive. He was young…he died a lot younger than he could have ever wished.

"Any sign of…?" April began, searching the mutant's faces with slight hope.

The three shook their heads.

April's face fell. Donnie noticed how drawn her face looked, with circles under her eyes. Her hair hung loose and scraggily, as if she had only brushed it once during the day and forgotten about it. She hugged her coat to herself and looked down at the grave.

_ Poor April _ , Donnie thought. He was saddened at seeing the face of one of his dearest friends, if not his best friend. She looked absolutely torn.

"I wanted to thank you again, all of you, for acquiring this spot in a cemetery, and the headstone," Splinter said. "We would not have been able to do so without your help."

"Yeah…" Donnie breathed, looking down at his own grave. "Thank…you…" He turned his eyes away, unable to look on it. His eyes landed on the sad, sorrowful faces of his family and friends. He turned away. "It's not right! This isn't right!"

Mikey watched as Donnie paced, his eyes darting from person to person. "Donnie…"

Raphael scowled. "Mikey, don't start…"

"What? Start what?" Casey asked.

"What?" Mikey frowned at his brother. "I'm not crazy, Raph!"

"Shut up, Mikey…" Raph warned.

"Wait, what's going on?" April asked. She looked into each mutant's face. "Guys?"

Mikey looked at Raph, then at Splinter. Each held a warning look; Raph with his fierce shut-up-or-else look, and Splinter with a pleading expression, begging his son not to say more. "Don't look at me like that, okay? I swear, I saw him! He's right there!"

He pointed straight at Donnie, who stepped back, as if being accused of something. Everyone turned and looked at him, but their eyes soon darted here and there, searching for something that was not there to them.

"Where?" Casey asked. "I don't see it."

April sighed and looked away, unable to look at Mikey. "No one does."

"He's right there!" Mikey scowled. "Say something, Donnie!"

"They can't see me, Mikey," Donnie replied.

"There! He just said something! Just now!" Mikey looked at the others, who fidgeted uneasily. "C'mon! I'm serious!"

Donnie knelt at the side of the grave, unable to pry his eyes from the scene unfolding in front of him. No one wanted to do anything. No one knew what to say.

"Hey," April went over to Mikey and touched his arm. "Sometimes…I think I can see him too. I want him to be there so bad, sometimes I just imagine him there. Now that's he's gone…it's like," she paused, trying to find the right words. "He was so…quiet, and to himself, but we knew he was there. You don't know what you'll miss…until it's gone."

Splinter came to the other side of Mikey and placed his hand on Mikey's shoulder. "Yes, my son. Even I sometimes feel like I hear him…it is just our own futile wishes to undo what cannot be undone."

Raph looked away.

"But, guys, I'm serious…I'm not imagining this! You believe me, don't you?" His voice was frantic. One believer, that's all he needed, his eyes begged for it…

Splinter's hand moved up a bit and pinched down. He and April caught him as he fell unconscious, and eased him to the ground.

"Was that necessary?" Raph spat.

"Master Splinter," April said, kneeling next to Mikey. "I don't like this. I think he really thinks what he sees and hears is real."

"I agree," Splinter replied. "I am afraid that…Michelangelo might not be well."

Donnie frowned. "He isn't insane!"

Of course, no one heard him. His uncharacteristic shout fell on deaf ears. He scowled and balled his fists on his knees.

"Look," Raph said, breaking the silence. "Why don't you guys go take Mikey home? Casey can drive me back. I gotta…I gotta get some air."

The others nodded and allowed Raph and Casey to break off from the group.

Donatello watched them leave, then got up and ran after them. It wasn't often that he was angry towards his brothers, but tonight was an exception. Raphael could act cold at times, but he was never _ uncaring _ .

Raph looked back at the others as soon as they were out of earshot, and turned to Casey. "Well?"

"I got everything you told me," Casey said. "But…are you sure about this, Raph?" He looked back at the others and lowered his voice. "You ain't gonna say anything to them or nothin'?"

Raph shook his head. "I already know what they'd say. Mikey…he don't need anything else hurtin' him right now. And Splinter…he already told me not to do it, but…well obviously I ain't listenin'."

Donnie halted in his tracks, wide eyed. "Raph…"

"And still nothin' from Leo?"

Raph scowled. "Leo can rot in hell for all I care! He acts like he's the only one hurtin' from this, like he can't see anyone see him cry!" Raph's voice broke at the end of his statement. He cleared his throat, but to no avail. The tough, macho exterior was breaking down. "He acts like Donnie wasn't nobody's brother but his! Like he was the only one there, tryin' to…"

Donnie turned his head away as Raph broke down. Casey put his hand on Raph's shoulder in comfort.

"Alright," Casey sighed. "You want me to come along?"

"Nah. I got it all figured out. I don't want you getting' mixed up in this. I gotta do this alone."

Donnie followed them out of the cemetery and watched helplessly as they left on Casey's motorcycle. "How did this happen?" He whispered it to no one. "How did my family fall apart…over me? I didn't want this…"

He looked back into the cemetery. The others had long since left. He was alone, just another myth standing amongst the stone odes to death and remembrance.

Mikey had once watched a television show dedicated to hunting ghosts. He had waved it off as just a bunch of film tricks and computer effects. A lot could be done with good acting and equipment that really didn't do anything when on film.

Now he stood there, wondering if anyone aside from Mikey could ever see him.

And why he was still there. "Did I do something wrong? Why can't I just…pass on? And…where is Leo?" He missed the face of his oldest brother. "What…happened…?

He blinked.

He was underwater, standing at the bottom of the pool at the rec center. The water passed through him, and he neither felt it or its icy temperature. He backed up until his shell hit the pool wall.

Before him, he saw himself desperately trying to wrench the pallet off his lower half. Mikey was nearby, chucking poles this way and that, also trying to lift the pallet. The scaffold was resting against the pallet, making the effort impossible. The tarp above was also bearing down on them.

He saw Raph dive in and grab ahold of Mikey, who in turn reached out for Donnie, who strove to grasp Mikey's hands. Mikey kicked, trying to wrestle away from Raph and grab Donnie.

Donnie's hands closed on nothingness, and his brother's surfaced for air.

"No, I don't…" Donnie tried to look away, but he couldn't close his eyes. Something pulled at him to watch himself as he struggled. Seconds passed. Bubbles erupted from his mouth…

Donnie watched himself inhale water. He flailed, and blood began to seep from his mouth into the water. His arms spasmed.

Leo was in the water, diving past the wreckage and grabbing ahold of Donnie. Raph dove in, and then Mikey. They pulled at the pallet as Leo pulled on Donnie's body.

He was loose, and they rose to the surface.

Donnie watched them haul him onto the concrete.

"He ain't breathin'!" Raph reported. They looked down at their brother, his eyes rolled up in their sockets, the eyelids only partially closed. The water and blood pooled in his mouth, which was relaxed in a slight grimace. His skin was slightly ashen.

Leo pushed away his brothers and placed his hands on Donnie's plastron.

"Are you doin' that right?" Mikey said.

"Donnie showed me this…once," Leo pushed down on Donnie's chest. Raph and Mikey could only sit and watch as their older brother performed CPR on Donnie.

Donnie sank to his knees at the head of his body, which shook with Leo's efforts. He reached out towards Leo…but of course his hand met nothing.

"Come on!" Leo cried, his voice breaking on a plead. He breathed into Donnie's mouth again, then pushed on his chest desperately. "Donnie!"

Donnie sat back, unable to watch anymore. His eyes drifted to his own lifeless face and went wide. His eyelids slid shut…

"He moved!" Raph cried. He patted Donnie's cheek. "C'mon, little bro!"

Leo halted in his efforts, his hands resting on Donnie's chest.

Donnie coughed.

Someone shouted in the distance. "There they are!"

The three brothers looked up and ducked as bullets sprayed over them. Raph pushed Mikey out of the way.

Leo cried out, ripping his hand away from Donnie and clasping it to himself. He held it up in horror…blood drooled from it, the bullet had gone all the way through. His eyes shot to Donnie, who now lay silent.

Blood poured from his chest.

"NOOOO!" Leo clawed at the wound, trying to stem the flow of blood, as if getting a better look at the wound would make it anymore real.

He leapt up, grabbing at his katana with both hands, despite his injury.

Donnie watched as his brothers attacked the remaining Purple Dragon goons with deadly force.

Leo ran one in with both katana, then whirled around, slicing the arms off another easily, then jabbing the sword into the goon's neck.

Raph stood over another, his sai buried into the man's head.

Donnie heard something snap, and his eyes caught the body dropping from Mikey's hands, its neck disfigured. Mikey stared down at his hands in horror.

The attack was over almost as fast as it had begun.

He looked down at himself. "I…didn't drown?" He touched his chest, but there was no mark upon him. His body…however…

Leonardo and Raphael ran back to their brother, their bodies stained with blood, while Mikey stood there numbly. His older brothers cried out.

Donatello was dead.

Mikey stood there, and Donnie realized his eyes were on him. He stood slowly.

"Donnie…" Mikey whispered.

Leo clasped Donnie's body to him, and Raph watched on, his fists enclosed about his sai, his expression mixed between anguish and rage.

Sirens wailed in the distance. No one moved.

"Mikey…" Donnie said. "I…"

Mikey shook his head and broke down, falling to his knees.

His brothers soon gained the courage to move; Raphael and Leonardo carrying Donnie's body over the fence.

Mikey knelt there, staring at Donatello in fear.

"C'mon Mikey!" Raph grabbed his arm and began pulling him away.

Mikey tore his eyes from Donnie.

And they were gone.

Donnie was once again alone, standing in a puddle of his own blood.


	4. Chapter 4

Raphael crouched in the darkness of the alleyway, looking at his hands. Gone were his red eye mask and gear. Instead he wore a black coat. His sai sat at his belt, as well as two small katana. A full sized katana was strapped to his back.

Donatello could only imagine what else Raphael had hidden on his person. He watched him from the other side of the alleyway. He didn't know how he got there; he just was there. Raphael looked as if he had been there for a while, and leaned listening to the goings on in the building he leaned against. Several voices chatted amongst themselves.

Raphael seemed to be waiting for something.

It was a metal warehouse with corrugated sides. Two doors stood not far off, also metal. A large chain draped across the handles, locking it shut.

A new voice met the others in the warehouse, muffled behind the walls. It was deep and gruff.

"So how'd it go, boys? I take it things went well while I was on…vacation."

A small grin eased its way onto Raph's face.

Hun.

"We got one of them," another voice said. Dragon Face. "The one called Donatello. Dead as a doornail."

"Only one?!" Hun growled. "I wanted them _ all _ dead!"

"If you haven't noticed, they aren't exactly easy to kill! They got some of our guys too…"

Raph held up his hand. Something black sat in his fingers. Donatello went wide eyed. He knew what it was.

He raised his thumb and set it against the device.

Explosions rocked the building from all sides, ripping open the steel doors and slicing through the walls and roof. Raph ducked as metal debris went flying and he hit the device again, setting off explosions on the roof. The men inside cried out in surprise, some in terror, others in pain.

And then Raph was on his feet, the katana drawn. He flew into the building, slicing through people and dodging bullets. There was something cold and calculated about how he moved, and yet uncannily skilled. Gone was the powerhouse, angry Raph. If Donatello didn't know better, he'd think he was watching Leonardo fighting.

Slice.

Dash.

Splatter.

Scream.

Each man he engaged succumbed to the katana, and others fell as shuriken slammed into their skulls. Gunfire pierced the otherwise silent noise.

Raphael's katana met a metal pipe that Dragon Face held up. Dragon Face couldn't mask the bewilderment in his eyes if he tried. "…you!" Raphael growled. He hacked down at the pipe, then again, sending Dragon Face to the ground with the force. Donatello stepped into the building as he saw Raphael bring the katana into Dragon Face's skull.

"That…was for my brother, Donatello!" Raph stood and looked down at Dragon Face. The gang member stared up at the katana in his head, his face frozen in horror. Blood pooled freely under him.

"Raph! Look out!"

Raphael spun, letting fly a katana. It embedded itself in Hun's shoulder. The giant man looked at it as if it were nothing and fired the assault rifle in his hands.

Donatello watched his brother dodge the bullets, flipping midair. Upon landing, he let the other katana go. It hit Hun in his chest, but the man only stumbled a small bit. Raphael pulled his sai as a bullet caught him in his shoulder.

He charged Hun, yelling in rage, neverminding the bullet that now caught him in the chest.

He leapt, releasing all his fury into Hun, his sai stabbing the man over and over and over, his form moving about, dodging Hun's swipes. Raphael leapt high, kicked Hun alongside his head, sending him over, then landed with a foot at each of Hun's shoulders, and brought the sai into the blond man's skull with a yell that could curdle blood.

The two turtles watched as the large man's body spasmed sickly, his hard boots thumping against the warehouse's concrete floor and his fingers twitching. Raphael pulled the sai from his fallen enemy with Hun's last breath that was a deep gurgle.

Silence befell the place. The floor was awash with blood, Purple Dragon blood. Bodies littered the place, either caused by the explosions or the debris, or from Raphael's unforgiving blades. Donatello didn't think there was this many people that Raphael could kill, but he had.

He had killed them all.

The sais clattered to the floor, and Raphael stumbled towards the nearest demolished wall. Blood dripped from him with each step, too much blood. He leaned against the wall for support and groaned as his legs gave out under him. He slumped against the wall on his right side, not caring how he lay.

"Raph!" Donnie ran over and knelt before his brother. Blood flowed from both his wounds, and now dribbled from his mouth. The bullet in his chest had hit his lung, or worse. His breath wheezed out in a rasp. "Raph…why…?!"

To his surprise, Raphael looked up, his eyes meeting Donnie's. The troubled look, the one a man gained when knowing he was done for, melted to warm recognition. "Donnie…!"

"Raph, you're…hurt…"

"And here…I thought Mikey was just yankin' my chain," he said, ignoring Donnie's statement. "I did it, Donnie. I got those sons of bitches!"

"Raph, you…you didn't need to!" Donnie reached out to touch his brother, knowing full well that he couldn't. His hand touched Raph's skin, making him blink in surprise. It was cold. "I don't get it…I couldn't touch Mikey…or Leo…"

"Leo…" Raphael paused to breathe. He coughed and spat blood. "I…was so mad at him. But I know why he ran…he had that look, the same look you got right now…when he saw you die…" Raph's eyes washed with sorrow. "I'm sorry, little bro…I couldn't save you…"

"I don't care! That was no reason to come in here…and do this! It won't bring me back!" Donnie touched Raph's cheek as tears dripped down his own.

"I hadta," Raph's eyes blinked languidly. "I never really thought…I'd do it…but I couldn't let my bro's…honor…get taken by some…stupid thug…"

"Honor?" Donnie shook his head. "I didn't think you cared…"

"Of course I _ care _ ," Raph gave a laugh, or tried to. He slumped a little bit. "Leo…didn't do it. I hadta…I got them, those…sons of bitches…I got your honor back…li…brrr…" Blood drooled freely from his mouth with his incoherence, and his hands relaxed at his sides. Gurgles came from his lips, and he could no longer look Donnie in the eye, but affixed his eyes to a spot on the ground. "We ain't…so…easily…def…eat..ed…"

He slumped forward into Donnie's arms. Donnie hugged him close; his older brother's last breath was spent on his shoulder. "Raph…"

Minutes passed in the silent, bloodwashed ruin. This wasn't right. Why would Raph suddenly change? He had never expressed such a respect for honor before, at least not in a way that Donnie could remember that would explain this suicide vengeance.

Leo.

It was because Leo hadn't done it. Raph knew it had to be done; it was the _ right thing to do. _

Donnie set Raph back so that he leaned against the wall. He stared into the blank gaze of his brother and ran his hand over his eyes, shutting them. "Thank you…Raphael," he stood and looked down at the body of his brother. He gave one last look to the bodies, the cost of his honor. His eyes fell on Hun, their longtime enemy, and Dragon Face, who had set them up to die that one night.

They would never hurt anyone else ever again.

Raphael didn't deserve to lie amongst such dishonor, but Donnie knew that his brother died with the honor of a man tenfold. "What now?" He whispered as sirens came closer. Police ran into the building, shouting, guns drawn.

They lowered them at the sight of the carnage.

"Let me go…let me be with my brother," he cried it out to no one, as no one heard him. "Why am I still _ here _ ?!"

The world seemed to spin about him, the time ticking faster. In a blur, photos of the scene were taken by detectives, and lines drawn on the concrete. Men ran in and lifted the bodies away. The last body they took was Raphael's, but he too was sealed in a black bag and set namelessly amongst his foes.

The world spun faster, breaking into white light.

The bloody concrete below turned into weathered wood, and the sound of the police moving about changed into the sound of water and seagulls. Time slowed, and Donnie opened his eyes to see the river. He was on a dock where several small fishing boats were tied. They swayed against their bumpers.

At the end of the dock sat Leonardo, with his legs hanging over the edge. His right hand was bandaged with dried blood soaked through. Donnie wondered how long the wound had been in such a sad shape.

"Leo?"

Leo looked up at the sound of his name. He smiled at Donnie. "Donnie! I thought you'd never make it!"

Donnie frowned, remembering that his oldest brother, his _ mentor _ had abandoned his brothers and father. He remembered the anger in Raph's eyes when Casey mentioned Leo, and the pain in April's eyes when she saw that he had not returned. The sadness in Splinter when he realized he had lost two sons.

"What are you doing here?"

Leo stood and ran over, enveloping Donnie in a hug. Donnie did not hug him back, but Leo didn't seem fazed. "It's almost here, Donnie!" He grabbed Donnie's arm and led him to the edge of the dock.

"Leo…" Donnie raised a brow at the expression on Leo's face. He seemed overjoyed and excited, his eyes wide and his pupils too small. "Leo? Are you…okay?"

"Never been better!" Leo grinned and pointed across the river. "Can you see it Donnie?"

Donnie looked, but only saw the dark banks of the opposite side of the river. "See what?"

"Our ship!" Leo grinned at him. "We're going to Japan, to live in the lands of our ancestors! The others are waiting."

Donnie looked out into the river again, but there wasn't even a boat to be seen. "Uh…Leo? There's no ship there."

Leo ignored him. "It's beautiful. We'll leave this place, go where no one can get hurt…or killed."

Donnie looked away, remembering the look Leo had had when he gazed upon Donnie's bullet wound. The horror. The rage that followed. "You've lost it, Leo."

"…we'll be happy, and no one cares about what we look like, or anything…" His eyes turned to Donnie's.

There was no trace of the person Leonardo once was. There was only delirium.

"I don't know when you left, Leo," Donnie said softly. "But I hope you're with Raph now. He forgave you, you know." He paused. "Mikey will be on his way, now that Raph is gone. And Splinter…" He looked down at the wooden boards under his feet. He took a seat on the edge of the dock and let his feet dangle. "I don't know if I'll be there with you," he looked over at Leo as he sat waiting at the edge of the dock, his face plastered with an expectant smile. Time began to tick faster again, and the nights and days spun before them.

Leo began to whither before him, his muscles wasting away and his skin loosening, then growing taught. His face grew gaunt, and his posture failed. Every once in a while he muttered something to himself. "Our ship…it's coming…Donnie…Raph…we're gonna go…

"They don't have guns…no water…I'll watch over you. I'll keep you safe…"

The sun set, and when it rose, Leo wasn't there.

Time began to slow and fell upon night.

Donatello was once again alone.

He looked down at the dark water beneath his feet. Tears dripped from his face, making tiny ripples in the river water.

"I'm sorry," he cried to the water. "I'm sorry I failed you all. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough…I'm sorry I couldn't save myself…or you," his sobs seemed to pierce the silence of the night. He put his head in his hands. He thought of Mikey's pained expression as he tried to explain to their friends what he had seen and heard.

No one believed him.

And Raph, as he sat slumped against the wall, bleeding to the ground, with his blood mixing with his enemy's.

Leo…had gone crazy, had fallen into his own despair and disappeared, leaving his self behind.

Splinter…

Who asked him in what seemed only that morning if anything was wrong.

All he wanted to do was talk. Just once.

And Donnie didn't.

He looked up at the boats beside him, his vision blurred with tears. He shut his eyes, and felt blinding light tug at them.

"Oh, please," he begged. "Please let this be the end of it…please just…take me back to my family, let me just…go already!"

His form faded against the wood and water, leaving the boats bobbing, tethered to the dock, causing ripples in the water.

"Hey Donnie!"

_ Mikey_

"Donnie!"

Laughter.

It sounded…so good…

"Hey! Wake up!"

Donnie felt someone shove him. His eyes shot open and he tensed.

Before him, on the television sets in the lair, an infomercial for an microwave egg cooker played.

"I didn't think the movie was _ that _ boring!"

Donnie jerked his head, turning his eyes to the owner of the voice. Mikey sat beside him on their old couch, grinning like a fool. "Mikey…?"

His younger brother laughed at him and vaulted over the couch. "Want an omlette?"

He received no answer. Donnie looked out over the lair.

Splinter sat at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper. Someone walked above them and came downstairs.

"Leo?" Donnie breathed it, fairly hiding behind the back of the couch.

"Where's Raph?" Leo asked, his voice tainted with impatience. "He said he'd be back by now!" Leo turned his eyes to Donnie and raised a brow. "What are you doing?"

"He's hiding from the egg monster!" The occupants of the room looked over at Mikey, who held an egg before each eye and stuck out his tongue. "Raaaawrrblllblllllpll!"

Splinter gave a small chuckle before turning a page. He looked over at Donnie, whose face was grim. "Is something wrong, my son?"

Donnie only nodded.

The door to the stone elevator eased open and Raph and Casey stepped inside. "I told you, Case, they _ gave _ them the ball!"

"Whatever, Raph!" Casey waved off his friend.

Donnie came from behind the couch and went slowly to the center of the lair. He couldn't stop staring at Raph.

He was alive.

Raph frowned when Donnie didn't look away. "What?" He looked at the others. "Have I got somethin' in my teeth or what?"

Tears welled up in Donnie's eyes. He had everyone's attention now. Leo regarded him strangely.

Good ol' Leo. Gone was the excited, deranged look in his eyes. He stood there whole and unharmed, waiting for an explanation like all the others.

"Donatello?" Splinter asked.

Donnie sank to his knees. Tears came freely. His brothers exchanged glances, shrugging amongst themselves.

Raph went over to Donnie and almost timidly touched his shoulder. "You okay, buddy?"

Donnie's only response was to grab Raph in a hug, pulling him down to the ground with him. His brother could only hug him back, confused.

Leo made his way over and knelt beside his brothers, only to find himself brought into the hug as well.

"Oooh! Group hug!" Mikey set down the eggs on the counter and ran over, tackling his brothers, who laughed through tears.

"Donnie, what's wrong?" Leo asked once they had sorted themselves out.

Donnie looked them all in the face. Raphael, confused. Leo, concerned. Mikey, jubilant, like always. He smiled. "Nothing."

"It was just a bad dream."

Casey went over to the kitchen table as the turtles hugged again. "Do they always do this?"

Splinter smiled knowingly, turning back to the newspaper. "They are brothers, and act as one, no matter how different they seem. The ties of family go beyond physical boundaries," he paused. "Beyond dreams, beyond the grave."

Casey shrugged.

"Freakin' weirdos if you ask me."


End file.
